THEATRE + COMEDY

College of the Mainland Community Theatre presents Incorruptible,  by Michael Hollinger.  Running September 9 - October 3, 2010.

From the author of "Red Herring," this hilarious, lightning-fast comedy is set in a medieval monastery that is down on its luck. Its patron saint hasn't worked a miracle in 13 years and pilgrims have stopped visiting... and donating. To get back on top before the Pope arrives for a visit, the monks concoct an outrageous new way to pay old debts.

Incorruptible, A Dark Comedy About the Dark Ages is a fun, gentle rib-poking look at how we humans gleefully twist our convictions to rationalize our bad behavior. As side trips it looks at how we treat our dead religious icons and how far even churches will go to make a buck.

For the non-Catholics -- deceased holy people who don't decompose are what is called an "incorruptible." It's estimated that only about 1% of the Catholic Church's saints fall into this category; these include: St. Bernadette of Lourdes, Pope John XIII, St. John Vianney, St. John Damascene, St. Catherine Laboure, and a few others. The state of decomposition can be non-existent, extremely slow, or result in mummification, but can not occur from extensive embalmment or other explainable natural means. "Relics," meanwhile, are portions of a saint's body that have been removed and placed in other spots so that the faithful can make pilgrimages to a myriad number of religious locations to request the saint's intersession for assistance.

Thus feet, livers, and other internal and external body parts are disseminated throughout the globe in order to spread the miracle wealth (so to speak). For example, while the body of Mother Cabrini (also known as St. Frances Xavier Cabrini) is housed in New York City in the chapel at Mother Cabrini High School (just off the A Train), her head is located in Italy.

Michael Hollinger bases his farcical script on actual things that occurred during the Dark and Middle Ages. He takes some artistic license, of course, but the stealing and trafficking of saints' body parts was in high demand during these times and so his general story line could very well have happened just about anywhere in Europe.

In this case, he takes St. Foy (a 13 year-old girl martyred in the fourth century, who is an actual saint still popular in Europe and Latin America) and places the action in a monastery at Priseaux, France. There the monks are trying to figure out how to bring in an influx of cash so the monastery can continue its mission to help the needy and stave off the starvation of the clergy. The monastery's patron saint (Foy) has not produced a miracle in thirteen years and the pilgrims, as well as the local people, have stopped coming looking for assistance and paying an obligatory donation to view the saint's relics (her entire skeleton). Instead the faithful have moved on to other more active and celebrated holy sites. Even for churches in the dark ages it was all about public relations and staying current with constant miraculous output. Which is not that much different than the cult of celebrity worship and maintaining celebrity status today.

When St. Foy's identity is stolen (not just a 21st century problem!) the monks face starvation or accepting drastic measures to keep the order afloat. Ironically, even the brothers of Priseaux have a hard time believing in their patron. When a murdered Jewish money changer arrives on their doorstep at the same time a one-eyed, itinerant minstrel stumbles through town, Brother Martin hits upon the idea of selling off the monastery's graveyard full of bodies ("We could sell him -- for parts!") and suddenly things begin looking up for the Abbot of Priseaux and his colleagues as they traffic in the sale of "saintly" heads, feet, and collarbones.

Until the Pope announces he will be making a visit to see their incorruptible, which unfortunately they don't actually possess...